Mommy Wars: Surviving the Cyber Storm

Mommy Wars: Surviving the Cyber Storm | Duluth Moms Blog

Mommy Wars. I’ve only recently witnessed the cyber storm of cat fighting and that we are at the height of tensions and opinions when it comes to moms simply trying to raise their children. In the age of technology and social media, it’s easy for us to hide behind words filled with judgment and anger rather than taking the high road and encouraging moms to do what we do best, survive.

Instead of cyber battling with words that raise emotions and cause unnecessary tension, what If we simply put aside our differences and supported each other? I believe that the strongest mothers are the type that build each other up instead of tearing one another down. Now, on a personal level, I’m a sideliner. I’m the type of mom that might throw a comment or two in a heated discussion (in person or via internet) but it will most commonly start along the lines of “Do what you think is best, but…” or “This is my experience but it may be different for you…” because I simply do not care. I don’t care to suffocate others in my experiences or advice that showcase I know better than they do just because my experiences work out for my family. In all honesty, three years and two kids later, I still have no idea what I’m doing anyway.

Breast is Best

Breast is best. Sure. Until your nipples are cracked and bleeding and you’re in gut wrenching pain every time you nurse. I would know because I experienced this with both of my kids. The first kid I felt so much pressure from society to breastfeed that I literally beat myself down emotionally until I gave up. Of course I beat myself up for weeks after I switched to formula, because society gave me the impression I was an unfit mother. I was not providing enough nutrition for my baby because she was getting formula instead of breast milk. When I had my son, he was on breast milk for an entire year before I hung up the towel. I thought I would receive this gratifying, life altering moment when we made it to our one-year milestone. I thought it would feel like checking sky diving off of your bucket list, or flying to a new country you’ve never experienced. It didn’t. In my experience, of course.

Instead I felt like every few waking hour of my day belonged to the demanding schedule of nursing. My son now practically owned my body, which was both emotionally and physically challenging. Don’t get me wrong, I know the nutrients and antibodies are extremely beneficial to baby and the fat burning properties of it aren’t so bad either. What I’m trying to say is if it doesn’t work out for you, pat yourself on the back for trying and move on. I wish I could go back to when I was a new mom and tell myself to stop beating myself down because it wasn’t working out. A fed baby is best and that’s really all it comes down to. As long as you are feeding your baby, you are pretty much kicking butt at this mom gig.

Co-Sleeping is Dangerous

Co-sleeping is harmful to your baby and no one else is doing it. Yadee Ya da Ya, I’ve heard it all. When I got to the point where I hadn’t had a solid stretch of sleep in a few weeks, I basically did not care about statistics or what any other moms were or were not doing. Do what works and be fearless about what others think about you. Sure, be safe about it so you can avoid injuries (they make amazing co-sleepers you can put at your bed side or even in bed with you these days!). I truly believe that I didn’t choose to co-sleep for the first few months of my sons life and still at times these days, but that it chose me because it was the only way I had any sanity left over from sleep deprivation in those months.

The All Natural-Drug Free Birthing Warrior Mama

Spoken from a mom who got the dream experience for what I wanted of a drug-free birth with my big boy, and an epidural with my first I can safely say that ALL birthing mothers are warriors. Whether you are wearing the badge of birthing warrior from an induction, planned C-section, or scars from the stitches you needed when it was all over and done with, whether your labor was 4 hours long or 36 hours long, YOU ARE A WARRIOR. There is no right or wrong way to birth, only the way that you believe is the safest and best option for yourself and your baby.

GMO’s and Oreos

Over the past few years there’s been heightened awareness and concern for GMO’s found within the food we eat and feed to our children. The number of countries that are banning them altogether has risen. Although we still don’t quite fully understand what they do to our body, the modern and trendy era of parenting has decided that it is taboo and purchasing any type of product that contains it instantly makes you an epic fail mom. While such foods and beverages such as milk, zucchini, squash, and sweet corn still contain it, we eat it and drink it! Although I do make a conscious effort to feed my kids as well as possible, some days we eat frozen dinners packed with artificial flavors and I fall short… and that’s okay.

These are only a few examples of topics that evolve into heated discussions, and the point of this wasn’t to spill my thoughts out on how I am so OK with all of my shortcomings as a mother, but that we need spread awareness to end the Mommy Wars. We need to start building each other up instead of cat fighting behind our computers and tearing each other down. In the end, we are all mothers just trying to survive and do our best and that is all that matters no matter the number of kids you have or the badges you wear. As long as you are trying, you are doing awesome! Do you have a roof over your head and are putting hot food on the table? Even better.
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