In honor of November being National Adoption Awareness month, I would love to share our adoption journey with you in two parts; the mountain and the valley.
Meet our daughter, Amilia Degenesh. She embodies light and life, and we adopted her at the age of nine months.
My husband and I weren’t one of those families that always had their heart set on adoption. We didn’t have it planned out. It wasn’t even on our radar. Nathanael sneezed on me, and I got pregnant. It was that easy. Although, after four pregnancies, and three births, we were told it wouldn’t be wise for me to conceive again. You see, instead of waiting to contract at 40 weeks, my body started at 17 weeks. Now this is craziness! I am NEVER early for anything. Since my body was done hosting babes, we started the process of adoption.
Our short nine-month journey of international adoption is unheard of and was one of perfect timing and answered prayers. Not one roadblock stood in our way.
I realized that many of you may want to curse at me and throw your slipper at the screen. We had no problem conceiving, and our adoption journey was the one you see in brochures. But, not you. You are aching to be a mama. You have tried everything. You have prayed, you have begged, and you have bribed. I can’t say I know where you’ve been, but I do sincerely ache with you. I am so sorry that it has been so hard. But, do hope you read on. It would be my honor.
- We started our paperwork in August of 2006
Four. Our hearts were always set on four, so we pursued adoption. But oh, the paperwork. Ladies, the blessed paperwork. I still have no idea how I did it. While Monica on Friends had her binder and checklist, I had my pile of papers on the counter. When it comes to paperwork, I am a disaster. So, just how did it happen? I literally did one thing at a time. If the next appointment needed fingerprints, well then, let’s get it done. If the home study was coming up, we got our references just in the nick of time. If I had to do it again today, I would have no idea where to start. Once each piece of paperwork was completed, it was forgotten. My brain can only handle so much organization. But we must have done something right! We’ve got a daughter to show for it!
- We first saw her face on March 6, 2007
I knew the phone call would be any day now. With each ring, my hopes soared. This time, I was not let down. I quickly gathered my senses and sat down on the basement stairs. She was a healthy seven-month old baby girl. Her name was Degenesh Abera, and she was ours. I hung up the phone with our social worker, and quickly called Nathanael at work. We both ran to our computers and opened up the coveted email with her picture. We finally saw her for the first time. What a dolly! Those eyes and pouty lips had us hooked.
After a few chaotic weeks of travel planning, packing, medical shots (a whopping eight each), and more paperwork, we were off on a 30-hour trip around the world.
The kiddo’s stayed with grandma!
- We first met on April 28, 2007
I have watched this video over and over with grateful tears. The miracle of this day does not fade.
- We traveled to meet her birthmother on April 29, 2007
Now, it may be normal to meet birthparents when you adopt domestically, but with international adoption it is unheard of. Yet we had the honor of meeting our daughter’s birthmother in the very town that she was born! Just imagine what we saw on the way to her village. The trip was a dusty and bumpy 150 miles that took us a good four-plus hours. At one part of the trip we actually got out of the car and visited an African hut. It was beautiful, artistic, functional, and primitive.
We pulled up outside our meeting place, anxious and excited. For 20-30 minutes we sat across the table from Amilia’s birthmother. Big brown eyes and a beautifully formed face graced the 16-year old tender-hearted girl. She was nervous and soft-spoken. Yet when amused, she would giggle and light up just like her daughter does now. You would think in a moment like this, we would have a million questions, but working with an interpreter, the pace was slow and cumbersome. But there is one moment in this conversation that I will never forget.
I asked, “What do you want your daughter to become when she grows up?” Without hesitation, she answered, “A preacher or a singer in church.” At that very moment we all realized that not only do we share a daughter, but also a common faith. Just as we had prayed for her, she had prayed for us.
Now, let me be so bold as to connect the dots.
- During the month I first started thinking and praying about adoption, Amilia was conceived.
- When we started our adoption paperwork in August of 2006, Amilia was born.
- Both birthmother and adoptive parents chose similar names that reflect our faith and hope for our daughter. Amilia means bringer of life, the gospel. Degenesh means bringer of hope and light.
- The very area that our daughter was born is the same area that Nathanael’s family member had lived for years as a missionary.
Mamas, you can’t make this stuff up.
And to top it off, I had always hoped that our family would be complete by the time I was 30 years old. On May 5, 2007, we traveled 30 hours on my 30th birthday to bring home our fourth child. Our family was complete.
We were on top of the mountain!
But, we all know what comes after the mountain top.
The valley.
Ladies, no person I talked to, or book I read, prepared me for the next year of my life and the struggles I would have becoming an adoptive mother. As high as the mountian was, so low the valley.