We are the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Generation

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We are the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Generation | Duluth Moms Blog

As someone born in 1978 I have always lumped myself in with Generation X. But apparently the group of us born between 1977 and 1983 just don’t quite fit the mold of Generation X. Nor do we fit with Y (the Millennials). We’ve been dubbed the Xennials. I first encountered this term via the Huffington Post last summer. While I do agree with the description, I don’t agree with the title.  

Yes, we were raised with Atari and the original versions of Nintendo and Sega. The best days at elementary school were those when we could play Oregon Trail or Where in the World is Carmen San Diego. I remember signing up for my first AOL email account and being warned of chat rooms dangers. My first cell phone was an exact replica of the one Zack Morris used in Saved By the Bell. I could never have imagined the world of the iPhone back in high school. To say that we had an “analogue childhood and a digital adulthood” hits the nail on the head. But while our birthdates relate to the original Star Wars series, our ascendance to adulthood corresponds with the iconic sitcom, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 

To Xennials, the words “Pivot” and “Lobster” have much different meanings than those you find in the dictionary. When you read the phrase, “How you doin’?” you can hear Joey’s voice in your head with all the appropriate emphasis. Saying “Oh. My. God.” requires the nasal inflection and appropriate Janice hand gestures. We are a special subset of the population that can relate just about every aspect of life to an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. 

Central Perk, need I say more? Coffee dates are a way of life for our generation. Rough week at the office, let’s decompress over a Saturday morning coffee date with a friend. Need to get out of the house because the kiddos are driving you crazy, meet a friend at the local coffee shop. We keep Starbucks and Caribou in business, and I don’t even drink coffee! 

We are the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Generation | Duluth Moms Blog

We strive to have that close knit group of friends that know everything about you and love you in spite of those things. To say making friends as an adult is difficult is an understatement. As moms we can often feel alone and secluded, especially if we stay at home with our children. And those of us who work often feel we don’t have time for friends. Our free time is consumed with our children who we don’t get to see often enough. But if you are lucky enough to meet other moms through daycare or school, on the playground or at a museum, take full advantage of a blooming friendship. One day you just might be the new Joey and Chandler.

“They don’t know we know that they know we know.”

We realize that love is difficult and full of heart break yet we still aspire to be Ross and Rachel. So many of us have had that unrequited love for someone like Ross does for Rachel. We felt sheer excitement when they finally kissed in the doorway of Central Perk and we cried during their emotional break up. Because that storyline could have just as easily been us. “We were on a break!” gave us continual bursts of laughter throughout the seasons yet we still had hope they would reunite. At times, older generations attack us for our divorce rates, pegging us as a group that gives up when times get hard. But I believe my generation strives to find that one true love; that lobster.

The cast grew up in front of our eyes, and us along with them. We know exactly how Rachel felt when she turned 30 and broke up with Tag. Making decisions that impact the rest of our lives is never easy and none of us want to do it, but we have to. Whether it’s making decisions about relationships, jobs, relocating, or choosing schools for our children, we put on our big girl pants on and do what’s right for us and our families. (Although I do believe Rachel kept her PJs on the entire time!)

But that’s why we can also relate to the symbolism of Phoebe removing all of her rings when getting engaged to Mike. We often start new chapters in our lives that require letting go of the past. In my life those decisions have been surrounded with self-doubt and worry. Am I making the right decision? How will this impact the other people in my life?  Will I regret this? I strive to have Phoebe’s confidence that the future will work itself out. I tell myself to just have faith and remove the rings!

There is a unique group of us that had the Rachel hair cut, pounded our fists together rather than giving the finger, and chose the epic season finale when Monica proposed to Chandler over going out on a Thursday night. We value friends and family, making time for those nearest and dearest to us. We love hard, play hard and, work hard. We are an exclusive microgeneration (one that is still holding out hope for a reunion show!). We are The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Generation.