January 1, (insert every year of your life here). Today’s the day. I am going to be in the best shape of my life and my ideal body by June! Oh look, Christmas cookies!!! What is it about flipping that page to a new calendar that brings out a new set of comparing standards, it’s only paper! We change it twelve times a year and yet it has the power to destroy our confidence and self-esteem in one new fresh turn of the page…or does it?
While I’ve learned so much about myself in the process of becoming a runner, I hope I can impart on you some of the ways to achieve your goals. Here are some of the key things that have helped me in my journey to getting this far.
1. Set an achievable goal
Climbing Mount Everest might seem like a grand idea on day one, but a more realistic approach might be to climb “that one BIG hill.” In Duluth, we have a road that was redone after flooding wiped it out a few years ago. My running team uses Haines Hill as a training run once a week at sunrise so you get the payoff of the view on your way down. It’s hard, it’s magnificent, it’s hard, and it’s amazing. I have yet to conquer it at a continuous run all the way up (1.5 miles up). I may not actually get to that level, but I climb it because staying at the bottom doesn’t get me any closer to my goal. When I accomplished my first half marathon, I signed up for another one so that I could continue to grow and all the work I had already done would be put to good use.
2. Gain Knowledge
Whatever it is you’re hoping to do, read all the things. Grow your brain to understand the ins and outs of what you’re starting. Get in on forums and ask questions. Meet up with a friend that has done some of the same things and pick their brain. After all, they should want to help you through their own learnings. When I started running, I literally knew nothing beyond the fashion, and later I learned the fashion I knew didn’t line up with the sport, all the way down to my skibbies (yes ALL that matters when it comes to prolonged sweating). I utilized Runner’s World, it was the first time I paid for a subscription to anything and it was chalk full of hidden gems I knew nothing about. I used Google to fill in the gaps of information, but like any new adventure, there is still much to learn.
3. Find Community
Maybe you’re introverted and you did an eye roll just now because no way, no how, is that an option, but trust me on this, building a community that builds you up is the biggest key to your success. I ran my first half marathon on my own. I had some really good support people. People that loved me and genuinely cared about my progress. People that cheered me on the entire journey, but I didn’t have like-minded community. I was in danger of not continuing. I’m talking about the peeps that set their alarm for 4:30 AM to meet you in the dark and run. The other crazies that know if you eat a donut you would need to run three miles to make it okay. That if you set your alarm at 4:40 AM, sleep in your running gear, pack your fuel in a bag the night before, and keep your running lamp in the car that you can get to your meeting spot with two minutes to spare. These are also the same people that will insist on a group selfie at 5:00 AM and know you’re too tired to fight about it so you roll with it. But they will also make sure to map out porta potties on a long run, they’ll set up water stations and pick you up. They justify a beer and burger for dinner because really you’ll burn it all off the next day, they’ll even eat with you. They leave tutus in their car with extras to spare, for the day you just need to feel free to run like a princess.
This intricate group of people are the ones that keep you going when you have no fight left. When you’re willing to throw in the towel, they show up and pull you outside. About a year and half ago after a very hard relay race, I developed Plantar Fasciitis, a painful injury to the tendon of the achilles and the arch of the foot. I was unable to run for what would turn out to be a long year and a half. In the midst of my inability to join my “running sisters” for training runs, or running for fun (yes that’s a real thing), I enjoyed meeting up for coffee dates. I supported them in their goals and accomplishments, cheering them on in training and race days. We spent time at the gym learning what all those machines did and they listened to my struggles with the healing process. They are the reason I’m willing to fight, and they make it worth it.
4. The Comparison Trap
One of the biggest obstacles that keep people from starting at the gym or beginning a new sport is intimidation and not measuring up. It comes in all forms: not knowing how to use certain equipment and feeling like you’ll look foolish and unable to lift heavy weights. You don’t want to get in the way and the best way you know to do that is to stay home. I would say to go back to step 2 above, but even with all the knowledge in the world, you still need to begin somewhere.
In September of last year, I was needing to get back into the gym for more strength training and my motivation wasn’t coming so easily (mostly because I was angry that my foot still wasn’t healed). At the same time a friend had been looking for someone willing to join the gym with her. She hadn’t been in a gym for fifteen years and she knew she wouldn’t go alone. It just so happened to be the same facility I used and I was more than willing to have a new accountability partner. It meant once again setting my alarm for 4:30 AM, not my favorite, but I knew it would be worth it. She started off with lots of questions and I gave her all the information I had. More than the muscle she’s built, I’ve watched her confidence grow. The day she went to the gym without me, I could read the joy in her text over her accomplishment. We are two different people, her journey is different than mine and visa versa, comparing ourselves gets us nowhere. I like to make a point of smiling and encouraging others at the gym, especially women, because the struggle to put on spandex and stand with weights in front of a wall of mirrors is intimidating and uncomfortable.
As moms we feel like we don’t measure up more often than we do. It’s overwhelming in our day to day lives, let alone feeling that in the gym. Find your community, or better yet, build it right there in your gym, offer a smile, ask some questions, set your goals and don’t let anyone but you define you. When you have a bad day, fix your ponytail and start again…even if it’s a Thursday, after all Monday’s are overrated.
