Why on earth do we put so much pressure on ourselves as moms? We have a constant inner battle with ourselves to do better or be better. Being a mom comes with enough challenges as it is. Adding “mom guilt” to the list is just one more thing we do not need to worry about.
All to often I get stuck in the mom guilt trap. I try to keep my head clear of it but it’s not always that easy. It’s like our brains are trained to pick up on all the negative things instead of the positive ones. We receive pressures that contribute to our mom guilt from so many different angles–the media, other family members, friends, our significant other, or even our doctor.
Its hard to think when our brains sounds something like this: Did I really not change them out of their PJ’s all day? Did we watch too much TV? Was dinner nutritious enough? What did I really accomplish today? I’m working too much. I’m not working enough. I just want a night away. I think I yell too much.
The thing is, it’s all in our heads sometimes. I’m always so concerned if I’m doing something wrong, that sometimes I forget to recognize all the things that I’ve done right. It’s time we knock that annoying thing called mom guilt on its butt and start enjoying our little people a bit more!
If we let the mom guilt take over it can be completely paralyzing; it can completely steal the happiest moments unfolding right in front of us. If we are always consumed by what happened yesterday or what should have happened yesterday, we will miss the moments unfolding right in front of our eyes today. Living in the present moment and not beating ourselves up over little things can make a huge difference. It’s not easy, but I constantly remind myself and ask myself, “is what’s worrying me really worth the time and effort that I’m putting into it?” If the answer is no, move on sister! It’s not worth another guilty thought.
Now I know that not all things that create mom guilt are small and some of us have worries much deeper than what we fed our kids for lunch, but the same principal applies…”is what’s worrying me worth the time and effort that I’m putting into it?”, chances are it still isn’t and your most likely beating yourself up about something that is not your fault in the least bit. For your sanity and your child’s sake, be present with them and try to let those negative thoughts that are holding you down go. Just be. Be with them when they need you the most!
Can I get an amen to ditching the mom guilt and regaining confidence in our amazing ability to grow, teach and support our amazing children?! It’s time we stop feeling bad about things and instead indulge in the moments we have with our children and work on creating memories that will last a lifetime. I know I don’t want to look back and only remember that guilty feeling I got when I went shopping at Target alone, forgot to pack a nutritious lunch for one of our outing, worrying about my sick child and how I could have prevented it, or had to use the TV as entertainment to get things done around the house.
Mom guilt is nothing more than an insecure feeling we get when we sit too long to think about things. Stop it. Just stop! You’re day-to-day mommin’ skills are fab and raising and caring for these amazing little people is such a pleasure. Let’s not let guilt ruin that. So heres to you: cheers mama, you are doing an awesome job!